Some Things I've Been Learning

I usually don't allow myself to get stress out about things, big or small, I usually can hold it together and trust in the Lord.  This week was different.  Thursday I went to my 2D CAD class to be told by a very nice professor that I shouldn't take this class... Start the problems.  Things just seemed to go down hill from there.  I won't get into it, because I don't even want to think about it again.  Basically, I'm trying to take five engineering classes while I study abroad.  This is one more class than most SA students take and much harder classes.  However, to graduate in two more years this is what I must do.  So I prayed God would show me what classes to take.  That He would speed up my advisor at home figuring out if the classes transfer or not.  It didn't seem to make any difference.

I fretted all day Thursday.  Thought if I can't take the right amount of credits than I won't be able to graduate in two years and if I can't graduate in two years all God's plans for me won't ever happen.  A little extreme I know.  Friday morning started out as a Thursday repet.  Not sure what to do I finally turned my eyes heaven ward and fully gave it all to God.  I had literally exhausted every posible option.  I was tired.  I had way over worked my self and because of this was emotionally spent.

With in minutes of handing it all over, my day changed.  I got a email from my parents saying they could Skype.  My mom has to be one of the most up beat people I know and my dad is so good about taking the pressure off.  After talking with them for a half an hour I felt much better.  My world would not end!  I decided I would be fine taking three engineering credits and one non engineering class.  In fact, I started to think of the easy semester I would have and kinda liked the idea.  I decided if this this is what God want I can be ok with it, I can find joy in it.

Three engineering credits and one other class is not what God want. By Friday night I had heard back from all my professors and advisors and had the five engineering classes!  Sometimes I wonder why God can't show me His whole plan now.  So I could know exactly what to do, what was coming.  But then I think of Psalms 119:105.  Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.  Have you ever walk with a lamp as your light source?  Not a flashlight.  A good old, oil burning lamp.  Well they don't put off much light.  Just enough for our next step because if we could see everything we wouldn't need faith.

I would not say that Thursday and Friday were fun but I am thankful for them.  I am thankful that God again showed me where to put my trust, who my future belongs to.

Lately, I have been asking God to use me to show his light.  Before Thursday, I was confused.  I wondered why I felt as thou God wasn't giving me opportunities to show His light.  On Friday it hit me like the holy hand of God.  I can just see Jesus with a slight smile on face, maybe a little chuckle saying, "Silly Maria, stars can't shine with out darkness."  Until then, I had been asking God to let me shine but had only wanted good things, not the darkness.  What good is candle in a room of light?

Please don't read this blog and think I'm hating Ireland.  It's the contrary; I'm loving it!  I went to Dublin this weekend and am working on a blog about it.  I have lots and lots of wonderful pictures to share!