Convicted

Have you ever listened to a sermon and felt like the paster was talking directly to you? Like Jesus himself might have been like look my child this is where you need to change. This is where you are falling short.

I just finished listening to the Thrill of Obedience by Francis Chan and it might as well been having a one on one with my Heavenly Father.

Francis started by saying satan doesn't mind if you get convicted as long as you don't do anything about it. As long as we don't repent and change our ways satan could care less. The story of repentance is taught over and over again in the New Testament by John the Baptist, Jesus and then Paul.

I have heard the story of the rich young man so many times. But I had never heard it along side the story of Zacchaeus. When the rich young man turns away from Jesus he does so saddened. But when Zacchaeus repented, he had joy!

Zacchaeus got to a point where he was just like you know what I want peace . I can try to justify all these things I'm doing but I'm sick of it. He gave it all over to Christ.

After I listen to the sermon I turn to Andrea, who also just finished listening. I almost say forget it but I look down at the simple prayer I have wrote. [I want to leave nothing behind.] So I say, hey let's go ask the receptionist if she has anything we can pray for her about.

So we say a prayer and walk down to the desk. This is it. We're doing something. It's not that big, heck, we should be doing a lot more but at least this is something.

She not there. The desk is closed for the night.

Ok God! Really! I don't understand. I know your plan is bigger than mine and I must rejoice in that.


So I'm back in my room. Still struggling. Wondering how to change. Praying. Dear God, make me bold, make me on fire for you because nothing, NOTHING else matters.

Thats how I'm feeling. I'm sick of it too. Sick of being convicted. I know there is hell and I know gobs of people who are going there and I what just sit here! If I know the way to heaven, the only way to heaven, shouldn't I be sharing it like there's no tomorrow? Cause there could be no tomorrow!

Right now all I want to do is sell everything I own. Buy a one way ticket back to Uganda and serve Jesus. This isn't a new feeling. Its one I've felt since Africa. Heck, its one I've felt since my first missions trip to Jamaica.

But I think that's what Jesus is trying to show me. It's easy to be radical about Jesus on a missions trip. When that's your Job. He wants to stretch me.

Right now I just feel broken, stuck, stagnant.

I long to be close to Jesus. It is the greatest desire of my heart! In Matthew 16:20, which is right after Jesus tells his disciples to go into the world and preach the good news to all creation, it says the Lord worked with them.

"If you aren't experiencing God, Go spread the good news!!" - Francis Chan

So this is where I am. This is what I'm think sitting here in France in my hotel.

This is my heart. My struggle. My brokenness.

Beautiful Barcelona

If I had to sum up Barcelona in three words I would pick warm, beautiful and yummy.

Andrea and I got into Spain Friday afternoon and took a hour and a half bus ride into Barcelona.  Which ended up being a great way to see more of Spain.

When we got in we were soo hungry that we got pizza at one of the first place we saw.  (Yummy)

On our way to our hostel we stumbled onto this awesome park.  It had large fountains.

There was a life size wooly mammoth, walking paths and a cute little kids park.

Our hostel was in the gothic part of town, with small windy street lined with shops and restaurants    We got settled into our beds, after being moved because someone stuff was in the beds we were assigned.

Andrea and I just walked around for an hour or so after that.  There were so many fun shops and the area was so pretty.  We got drinks at a bar and sat out some of the rain.  We were laughing saying we could be back in Ireland with the weather we were having.

We had asked the guy who checked us in where we should eat and he recommenced a tapas place.  So at 8:30 we sat down at a tapa's bar.

We had no idea what to do at first but we caught on pretty quick.  The bar was covered in little dishes (tapas) and each on had a little stick in it.

So you just walked up to the bar grabbed whatever you wanted and payed per stick.  It was awesome because we got to try so many different things.

Yup I ate that, the waitress say it was fish....  Not sure what kind, she did speak much english.  It was actually really good!

Andrea and I also shared three deserts.

Yummy!

When we got back to our hostel we found TWO GIRLS IN OUR BEDS sleeping, it was like goldy lock and the three bears or something.  ugg, we had to move room this time.  It ended up being fine and kinda funny but still..

That night we went back to the hostel and ended up hanging out with a two french and german guys.  We taught them what YOLO was.  You only live once.  They had never heard it before?!


The next day we headed to Las Gradas Familia.  We waited in line for and hour and half to get in but it was so worth it.

The Cathedral is still under construction.  It will be finished in 2030.

The stain glass was STUNNING.

There were animals carved all over the church including this turtle. 

We took the tram back and got some lunch before heading to Guell Park.  There was lots of pretty mosaics. 

The walking paths were great! 

I could see all of Barcelona from the top.

This walk way was so sweet. 

Andrea insisted we got chocolate and churros.  I was so glad she did!  

We then walked around for a few hour and visited the ocean.

The boats were gorgeous.  My dad would have loved it!

 I so wish I could have seen the inside of this sail boat.

That night we ate on the pier.  It was perfect.  I LOVED it.  The weather was perfect.  

I was warm enough in just my dress with no sweater.  I got more toppas!

 

That night we saw the magic fountain show.  

On Sunday we went to Starbucks on the pier, sat and read our bibles.  

After that we were on our way back to Ireland.

Did you guys adopt?

Whenever I show someone new a picture of my family I get the same question?  Did your family adopt?  What I want to say is oh no Mark is just a genetic fluke.  But that's not true, he is adopted.  So I smile, because that's what talking about Mark makes me do, and I nod yes.

this is my favorite photo to show people of us all goofing off

I then usually get a comment like, he's old, or how long have you had him.  When I say he is 13 and he came home to us last July I almost aways get a wow-he-was-old look.  I hate this look.  I hate the comments.  Not because the people are trying to be mean or even that I think the look is uncalled for.  It's that this look reminds me that adoption of older children is so much rarer than that of younger kids.  You see, it is odd that we adopted a 12 year old and that is what breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart that all over the world, that in our back yard, there are older children waiting for a family.  Waiting for unconditional love.  Waiting for a mommy and daddy.  Yet, we disregard them say are age max is 5 or 3.  Say we don't think we can handle an older one.

It breaks my heart that for twelve years we didn't get to tell Mark we loved him or see his first steps.   We didn't get to hear his first word or walk him to his first day of kindergarden.  We don't have any baby pictures.  But I'm so happy, so filled with joy that we didn't miss out on the time we do have together.  The rest of our lives we get to share with Mark!  Ya, we missed some of the cute, fun baby stages but that doesn't mean we want to miss him all together.

The next comment I often hear is he's so luck to have been adopted by us.  Wrong!  WE ARE SO BLESSED TO GET TO BE HIS FAMILY!  It would be untrue to say I can't imagine life without Mark.  I can, but we would be missing so much joy and who wants to image a place with less joy.  Adopting older children is wonderful!  Its hard but still so wonderful.

Sometimes, people will tell me "he's so cute" and they smile looking at him.  I can't dipute what they are saying, because he is pretty cute but it does bring up another sad fact about adoption.  People want cute kids.  Or perhaps better stated people don't want the more unfortunate looking ones.  I have seen this happen at so many of the orphanages I have served at.  The cute kids get picked first.  I know it's hard, sometimes all people have to go off of when picking a child is their looks.  But really shouldn't we be picking the child we feel God is leading us towards!  Or many we should purposely pick the child we think won't get adopted.  Pick the least of these!!

As I look back on Marks life I see a story of redemption.  A story that mirrors mine.  No, they are my biological parents.  It mirrors my life in a different way.  We adopted Mark like God adopted me, like He adopts all of us.  He doesn't only take us at one point in time, or when we look good.  He takes us just as we are.  He takes us now, in our moment of most need.  He cares just as much for each of us.  One is not more desirable than the other.

 

London

Oh my!  I should have posted this blog forever ago!  Here is my very delayed London Experience.   I will also be posting about my time in Barcelona this week.  I'm not going to allow myself to get so behind like I did with this post.
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It's hard to sum up all of London in one blog post but I'm going to try and do my best!  I'm already worried I'm going to reach the max number of pictures.

We got into London at 9:30 Friday morning and were starving!  So we ended up at cafe not far from St.Paul's Cathedral.

 We were very excited to get site-seeing so we immediately headed off to St. Paul's Cathedral.

It was spectacular.  Put it on your bucket list.  Isaac Newton is barried there and studying Mechanical Engineering I had to pay me respect of course!  We climbed all the way to the top of the cathedral with our backpacks and the stair cases were extremely small.  

But it was totally worth it.  

You could see all of London from the top.

We decided to head to the hostel after the cathedral and saw a red phone booth...So of course we had to stop and take some pictures.

That night we went to Les Miserables.  WOW It was sooo FUN.  I had never been to a show before but I don't think this will be my last one.

The next day we went to Westminster Abbey.  Yup that's right, it's where Will and Kate were married. How cool is that!  I do have to say I don't know if I want to get married where there are so many dead people.  It was like a giant indoor seminary, lined with dead important people.  

After we went and got fish and chips!  So British of us, I know!

We saw Big Ben and the London Eye...

...walked to Buckingham...

 ...saw Buckingham....

 Went to a museum...the coolest part the weird contortionist outside...That's him inside the box

That night was my favorite part of the whole trip.  We went down by the London Eye, there were street venders set up with all sorts of different types of food.  You could see across the river where Big Ben and Westminster Abbey were.  The weather was perfect.  Andrea and I both got yummy crepes and we just saw and stared at the wonderful view.  

The last day we went to to the London Tower.  We got to see the crown jewels.  OMG were there some BIG STONES!  We also got to see inside the old castel.

By lunch time we were exhausted.

After refueling at the restaurant we went to see the circle theater, shasper's theater.  I know my old English teachers would have been jealous.

We went to the most wonderful park after that.  Erin separated and went on her own, which just left Andrea and I to wander through.

I wasn't sure how much I would like London.  I don't consider myself a big city person.  I was prepared for people to be rude and things to be dirty.  But it wasn't like that.  I absolute loved London!