Did you guys adopt?

Whenever I show someone new a picture of my family I get the same question?  Did your family adopt?  What I want to say is oh no Mark is just a genetic fluke.  But that's not true, he is adopted.  So I smile, because that's what talking about Mark makes me do, and I nod yes.

this is my favorite photo to show people of us all goofing off

I then usually get a comment like, he's old, or how long have you had him.  When I say he is 13 and he came home to us last July I almost aways get a wow-he-was-old look.  I hate this look.  I hate the comments.  Not because the people are trying to be mean or even that I think the look is uncalled for.  It's that this look reminds me that adoption of older children is so much rarer than that of younger kids.  You see, it is odd that we adopted a 12 year old and that is what breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart that all over the world, that in our back yard, there are older children waiting for a family.  Waiting for unconditional love.  Waiting for a mommy and daddy.  Yet, we disregard them say are age max is 5 or 3.  Say we don't think we can handle an older one.

It breaks my heart that for twelve years we didn't get to tell Mark we loved him or see his first steps.   We didn't get to hear his first word or walk him to his first day of kindergarden.  We don't have any baby pictures.  But I'm so happy, so filled with joy that we didn't miss out on the time we do have together.  The rest of our lives we get to share with Mark!  Ya, we missed some of the cute, fun baby stages but that doesn't mean we want to miss him all together.

The next comment I often hear is he's so luck to have been adopted by us.  Wrong!  WE ARE SO BLESSED TO GET TO BE HIS FAMILY!  It would be untrue to say I can't imagine life without Mark.  I can, but we would be missing so much joy and who wants to image a place with less joy.  Adopting older children is wonderful!  Its hard but still so wonderful.

Sometimes, people will tell me "he's so cute" and they smile looking at him.  I can't dipute what they are saying, because he is pretty cute but it does bring up another sad fact about adoption.  People want cute kids.  Or perhaps better stated people don't want the more unfortunate looking ones.  I have seen this happen at so many of the orphanages I have served at.  The cute kids get picked first.  I know it's hard, sometimes all people have to go off of when picking a child is their looks.  But really shouldn't we be picking the child we feel God is leading us towards!  Or many we should purposely pick the child we think won't get adopted.  Pick the least of these!!

As I look back on Marks life I see a story of redemption.  A story that mirrors mine.  No, they are my biological parents.  It mirrors my life in a different way.  We adopted Mark like God adopted me, like He adopts all of us.  He doesn't only take us at one point in time, or when we look good.  He takes us just as we are.  He takes us now, in our moment of most need.  He cares just as much for each of us.  One is not more desirable than the other.